Giving Your “Resiliency Bank” a Boost with Stephanie Blair

[00:00:47] With Know and Flourish, she has committed unlocking potential and providing leaders with insight to know the strategic plan to flourish. Stephanie is providing our listeners today with a free guide to develop the five critical skills as a leader. [00:01:00] And you can download that guide at knowandflourish.com/giveaway. 

[00:01:05] All right. Excited to have Stephanie on today. She is going to cover some really exciting stories around resiliency, resiliency in her life. And she’s also going to cover some resiliency stories around some of her clients. She’s going to talk about how the transition into COVID and some of the things that she’s had to coach not only herself, but also her clients on how to handle and how to make changes when environments change.

[00:01:30] So I’m super excited to have Stephanie on today. So let’s get started.

[00:01:38] So tell us a little bit about your, your role and what you do today and how you got into sales. And then we’ll dive into some kind of mental toughness and mindset, which I know that we talked a little bit in the interview or the early on, uh, part of our conversation about some topics that were sort of resonating with your clients.

[00:01:57] Stephanie: [00:01:57] That’s great. Well, thanks Brad, for having me. It’s great to be [00:02:00] here. Um, I guess my career story in sales is not unlike many other sales, individuals or leaders in that I, I sort of fell into it. Um, I had interned in an advertising sales department as a requirement to graduate college. Graduated college. My dream was to live abroad in Western Europe, specifically France.

[00:02:19] I’m actually a French dual citizen fun fact, but, uh, my, my old boss called me up and was like, what are you doing? You’re not going tomorrow. Come work for us for six months. And I ended up building my career in advertising sales at the Dawn of digital, really when they were transitioning from print only to more hybrid, uh, hybrid sales.

[00:02:40] And I realized that I needed to be at the center of that digital ecosystem if I wanted to continue my growth. And so I partnered with an amazing recruitment firm and that’s where I really launched my, my leadership career was at a company called e-marketer leading digital research firm. Now part of, um, the [00:03:00] Axel Springer family called insider intelligence after merger with business insider.

[00:03:04] So it was an incredible journey. It was at a period of rocket ship growth, and I really. Uh, was one of the drivers behind. Making it more proactive. You know, we were working with five marketers at a fortune 100 company, and we’re like, why aren’t we working with all hundred marketers? Um, so that was, that was incredible.

[00:03:23] And that’s where I had probably six different roles, three of which were leadership. And after that journey, I decided I loved helping companies through digital transformation. I partnered with a lot of C-suite leaders to, to guide that transformation through selling the research to them. And I realized, um, I could make a real ripple impact in the world if I could help leaders take what I loved about transformation, take what I love about growth and management and apply that in the coaching practice.

[00:03:52] So after having a really positive executive coaching experience myself, Decided to level myself up, take a leap of faith. And I [00:04:00] launched Know and Flourish to a little over two years ago now, uh, which is an executive coaching and strategic advisory firm. And since then I’ve done work with high-growth companies, leaders and leadership teams.

[00:04:12] Brad: [00:04:12] Uh, so did you have a co you mentioned you had a coach before you became a coach. 

[00:04:16] Stephanie: [00:04:16] I did. So I was exposed to two really great coaches. One was part of our, uh, transform transformation as a leadership team at e-marketer. Um, and then frankly, I had a moment of burnout, just like a lot of leaders do where I was like, wait, something’s not right, but I.

[00:04:33] I found myself in an emergency room with what we thought were allergic reactions, but it was truly stress getting to me. And I realized something is out of whack. I was a, you know, new mom, wasn’t really managing that balance integration, whatever you want to call it. And I was trying to be all things to all people and decided to work with a high performance coach who helped me figure out my own personal operating system.

[00:04:57] My strengths. And [00:05:00] ultimately that’s what led me to this journey to say, wow. Um, I, I got so much out of that and I don’t know, I didn’t have anything against coaching prior to that. I just hadn’t, hadn’t crossed my path and I’m so grateful that I had that personal experience so that I could pay it forward in the work I do day to day.

[00:05:17] Brad: [00:05:17] That’s awesome. Now, do you, do you find that the work that you’re doing today is, uh, you know, really like personally beneficial, you get, you get a lot out of it. 

[00:05:26] Stephanie: [00:05:26] Yeah, it’s funny. One of, one of my newer clients just texted me today, their company just write race series. See, it’s one of the biggest races of Africa history.

[00:05:35] He friends growth for them. He said, I couldn’t have done it without you. And I said, no, this is all you, my, my approach is strength-based, um, you know, I’m bringing your best out of the view. And when I shared that in another conversation, they said, no, no, You’ve helped me through so many transitions this year.

[00:05:51] You don’t, you don’t realize how much of an impact you really do have. So to me, I don’t know if I could say this out loud. It doesn’t feel like work. It’s, it’s really my [00:06:00] honor to help these people navigate tough times, because I think they’re exceptional and I’m learning from each and every one of them.

[00:06:07] Um, but again, it’s, it’s that strength-based approach. So it’s a, it’s a true partnership. 

[00:06:12] Brad: [00:06:12] So tell me a little bit about the transition from a sales leadership to. Coaching and training other organizations. 

[00:06:22] Stephanie: [00:06:22] So I think naturally I had, I was always a coach, you know, whether it was as a dance captain, you know, for the group, I was a part of, or even in my friend circle, you know, helping people through critical career moments of like, okay, great, you got that VP title, but you’re still under compensated by 30 K you can be both grateful.

[00:06:44] And ask for what you want. Right? These are not mutually exclusive things. So I have a sort of like a go-to in my, in my friend group, uh, for guiding through these moments. And 

[00:06:55] Brad: [00:06:55] I want to tap on that, go back. That’s I was going to say that is such a good, [00:07:00] like the light bulb just went off. You can be. What’d you say you can be grateful and once something yeah.

[00:07:07] Stephanie: [00:07:07] And ask for what you want. Because they’re not mutually exclusive. 

[00:07:12] Brad: [00:07:12] Because you think about them being mutually exclusive. Right. I’m really grateful for what I am. So I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna ask for anything else because I’d be then be compliant. That’s that’s a great takeaway. 

[00:07:21] Stephanie: [00:07:21] Well, thank you. It’s a fundamental belief of mine and I, I bring that forward into, you know, career coaching conversations, but also to, you know, coaching my, my sister or my brother-in-law and their journey, or, um, you know, just, just friends.

[00:07:35] So I was always that, that go-to person, and also just making sure that the value narrative was there. This is not about being selfish. It’s about a value exchange. And so if you know that you. Moved abroad for three years and were underpaid and had all these tax implications only to come back to get this promotion.

[00:07:53] And all it was was a title, vanity promotion. Well, you’ve got, you’ve got a history here. You’ve got a case. Right. And [00:08:00] so build that case. And even if it’s not in that moment, How can you pre-negotiate just to just understand, you know, what are the milestones look like? What does success look like? When can we have this conversation again?

[00:08:10] So that you’re in the driver’s seat of your, of your destiny and of your career it’s it’s vital. Um, so in terms of leveling up, you know, I really wanted to lean in on a couple of things I saw one was around this disparity, right. Or this binary thinking. Um, the second thing I was, I’m really passionate about women in leadership, and I think.

[00:08:32] Women even more so than men face imposter syndrome, or will tell themselves that narrative, Hey, I should just be grateful, you know? Um, and so I wanted to find ways to empower more diversity and women in leadership. And at the end of the day, there’s just some great people out there who, who get in their own way sometimes.

[00:08:51] And everybody could use a sounding board or, um, Uh, push, uh, if it’s, if it’s based on their strengths and what they know to be true. So [00:09:00] giving them that confidence upfront to then be bolder or to be more Trent formative. So those were things that I realized where my personal values and what I stood for, and if I could devise a system, um, that was scalable and repeatable, but yet bespoke enough to the individual.

[00:09:19] I think that’s my edge. And that was what was. Maybe lacking for me and my own coaching experience while it was wonderful. And I learned some great tools there wasn’t enough. Uh, I wasn’t able to contextualize it against whatever I was going through in my life on the professional side, because that person just didn’t have the same professional, no house.

[00:09:38] So since I’m a sales leader… 

[00:09:39] Brad: [00:09:39] Can you unpack that a little bit. Like, what do you mean by that? Like being able to contextualize against your, your life experience. 

[00:09:45] Stephanie: [00:09:45] Yeah. So it’s one thing to like take a chapter out of a book and say, Hey, this is how you create a, you know, personal operating system, which still serves me.

[00:09:54] It’s great. Right. And it’s a, it’s a belief. I. I have inherited, but [00:10:00] you know, to now say, Hey, in practice, I, you know, I’ve got calls with Europe at 6:00 AM. I can’t do that morning routine anymore. How do I adapt this? Or, you know, Hey, here’s this like tactical challenge I’m dealing with where my boss is saying X and my team is saying, Y and I’m this leader sort of caught in the middle.

[00:10:20] You know, how do I. Get another perspective from a leader who’s been there. So that was where I found my sort of sweet spot in coaching where I could say, Hey, 20, 30% of the time could be more tactical. It could be more on packing, you know, Hey, do we prioritize territory planning first? Or do we prioritize, um, You know, trust-building um, and, and how do we make goals for ourselves quarterly or monthly or annually that can maybe tackle multiple things at once.

[00:10:51] And so bringing these fundamental coaching concepts into real life, because the reality is stuff gets thrown at ya and you’re there to [00:11:00] perform and to do well. And there’s a lot of pressure on. Top sellers are leaders to succeed. Um, and so finding that right balance of, of textbook and real life practice. 

[00:11:11] Brad: [00:11:11] You mentioned the word prioritization in there. Do you think it’s difficult for most reps to prioritize what’s coming in at them 

[00:11:18] Stephanie: [00:11:18] 1000% and I think even even harder now, if they’re in a remote culture, because they can’t just lean over to their buddy or listen and pick up, you know, another techniques just from. Observing. So that’s, that’s a spot where reps and I think companies leaders can do better to just say, Hey, here’s what an ideal could look like.

[00:11:40] Let’s make it your own. But you know, you want to be spending 30% of your time here, 20% of your time there 10% here in any given week. Um, and, and now map that to where your best or your best in the morning are you best at 6:00 PM. Do you do your admin work at night? Like to me all that doesn’t matter how you [00:12:00] do it as long as you do it.

[00:12:01] And you know what the recipe of success is. Um, sometimes I I’ve seen a lot of fabulous reps who have great potential, just totally misguided in terms of where they spend their hours. And you do like a three-day time tracker audit. And talk about a light bulb moment. They’re like, Oh, I’m triple down. There were really, I could do probably 80% less of that.

[00:12:23] 20% more of that and get greater results. Like it’s a game changer. Yeah, 

[00:12:28] Brad: [00:12:28] No, I th I, the one observation that I see on a lot of reps is not being able to PR the conflict between trying to try to hit a number. And then deciding whether you go after current clients or whether you go after new, new business.

[00:12:42] Right. There’s like, Hey, where, yeah. Where are you going to place your, where are you going to place your bet. So, um, obviously there’s, you know, there’s math and hopefully good math and numbers for you to help guide them with your revenue T but it’s definitely, they see that as a company. Um, so [00:13:00] you know, the things that I wanted to make sure that we covered, why we were on here is, you know, A substantial piece of, you know, wanting to start the podcast is kind of out of my experience of having to make tough decisions about my, my life and my career and, um, being resilient to just, you know, I had a mentor of mine.

[00:13:21] Uh, I’d gone through kind of a business entrepreneurial setback and, uh, I called the guy up and he just said, Hey, if you keep moving, you’ll never remember this ever happened. And so, um, he’s like, this will be such a mind. He’s like, I know it feels like a really big deal right now. He’s like, you will not even be able to remember.

[00:13:40] Um, how, which I still remember the event, but he was running. I mean, if you keep, if you keep going is, is far less, is far less impactful in the rear view mirror than it felt like when it was, when I was drunk when I was actually driving through the, through the event. So, um, I know you have some stories, um, about resiliency from some of your [00:14:00] clients.

[00:14:00] So I’d love to hear you share some, either personal or client stories. 

[00:14:05] Stephanie: [00:14:05] Sure. Well, you know, I think the biggest one is just around the year we’ve had, we’re coming up on a year in COVID did you know a year ago we thought, Oh, this is a two week break. We’ll get back to normal. And here we are navigating, what is the new normal?

[00:14:21] So that found, I think a lot of leaders who make be 10, 20, even 30 years into their career, out of work for maybe the first time. Inertia has always taken them. They’ve they’ve grown within organizations. And now all of a sudden they’re on the bench and, and it’s demoralizing. It’s, um, it’s challenging in a very competitive market, especially now when we’re almost a hundred percent remote.

[00:14:45] And so working with some of those folks in March and April, just to pay it forward, I said, Hey, I’ve got 50 slots who wants them come talk. Let’s let’s strategize. And from there I built out an accelerated sort of career coaching transition [00:15:00] moment where for 60 or 90 days, We work together on getting clear on the strengths, figuring out the right lanes, how to articulate the story and how to keep that mindset.

[00:15:11] Resilient in order to, you know, be better than anybody else that they’re interviewing. And they might be interviewing against a few hundred candidates in this market. So that’s really important is to have a plan, have a partner, um, and ultimately it’s been great to celebrate their successes and to see what they go on to do in these businesses.

[00:15:30] Um, others had the job, but then we’re faced with really tough decisions. Hey, the product I’m selling is no longer viable. I’m selling to travel companies that are. Really suffering right now. What do I do with my talent? How do I quickly pivot them? Uh, or how do I handle layoffs with grace and, and do it in a way that still protects us for future growth and, and protects our reputation.

[00:15:56] So those were three examples of just, you [00:16:00] know, hard moments for different types of leaders that they had to navigate. And at the end of the day, a lot of it was around. Mindset and goal setting and just being clear that like, okay, this seems insurmountable from where I’m standing right now, but if we can compartmentalize and tackle different components of it, we’ll get there.

[00:16:21] And as long as you do it, uh, in a, in a truthful way and as transparently as possible, that’s the best we’re gonna, we’re gonna do. Right. Um, and we’ll get to the other side of it. So that’s. That was an honor to help some folks through that. Um, but I still think the bigger point remains where a lot of high achievers, especially whether they’re individual contributors or leaders, they’re like.

[00:16:45] Hey, I just, I’m not feeling right. You know, something is off. And, um, that’s where I love this concept of surge capacity, right? Like we all have this ability to go a little deeper in our tank to go that extra [00:17:00] mile. And in this cycle that we’ve been in where we’re sort of grieving the loss of normal, whatever that was going to a ball game, getting into the office, having dinner with friends, having family over.

[00:17:11] Right. And so we’re in this. The early part of the grief cycle, but it never ends. And so it’s called an ambiguous loss where it’s like, you know, you’re lacking something, but you don’t know what the end point is. So you can’t get back to that rebuilding yet. And so I’m really focusing a lot on that in my leadership coaching today to just help folks.

[00:17:31] Recognize. Okay. The winds might not be as great as you had wanted. You might not be launching that product, that CES, but, um, you know, you are winning each week. Let’s reflect on that and let’s give that a little bit of a resilience bank, resiliency bank, a boost. 

[00:17:49] Brad: [00:17:49] Well, you brought up a really, so a concept of not knowing when normal is going to come back and it reminded me of you read a Good to Great.

[00:17:59] Okay. And [00:18:00] you know how he talks about the stock? I think he calls it the Stockdale paradox, which was fact Dale, who was a general, said, Hey, he was a prisoner of war. And he said, the guys that didn’t make it were the guys that said, Oh, this will be over by Christmas. Or this’ll be over by Easter. It’s going to be over by Thanksgiving.

[00:18:17] He said, all those guys died. Um, essentially I have a broken heart, right? I I’ve built a kind of a deferred dream is what I think you referred to it 

[00:18:27] Stephanie: [00:18:27] Yes, 1000% that’s mindset. Um, and in fact, we read that at eMarketer years ago in, in our part of our ERG, but, um, it was helping us through our transformation to say, Hey, what makes a good company good?

[00:18:41] What makes a great company great. And so much of it is about the mindset across the board. Every of every player. Just like every soldier matters in that example. 

[00:18:50] Yeah. No, th the very close, close ties there. Do you, um, so, so question for you kind of around that. So transitioning a little bit from the adverse [00:19:00] situation that COVID, that we’re in, in and more into probably your interaction with your, your clients and your experience as a, as a sales leader.

[00:19:10] Brad: [00:19:10] Um, what, what type of personality traits do you feel like are attributed to a great salesperson? And do you feel like those are in line with our all great salespeople have good mindset and mentally tough? 

[00:19:23] Stephanie: [00:19:23] You know, it’s interesting. Brad I’ve come across a lot of sellers and I think some people instinctually would say, Oh, they must be extroverted.

[00:19:31] Right? That’s not it. I really do believe it’s about mindset and. Vantage point on life. Right. Um, you know, typically they’ve either had like some of the best sellers I’ve ever known have either come from rough circumstances or had to overcome some really tough moments in life or were professional athletes where, you know, they were putting in that extra mile all the time.

[00:19:57] And that’s what I try to look [00:20:00] for. If I’m interviewing somebody, it’s like, do you have that something extra? You know, where is the time where you went above and beyond? It’s not enough just to hit the numbers and to coast, but it’s that. You know, that that’s stuff that you can’t teach that curiosity, that mental agility and that little extra drive to, to find the green space or to push a bit harder.

[00:20:23] Brad: [00:20:23] Um, yeah, it’s, it’s, you know, obviously, as you’re talking, as you’re telling the story, you’re talking about setbacks, it makes me think about, you know, I think one of the challenges as an entrepreneur is that your experience that you grew up in that made you who you are. Um, is probably not the same experience that your kids are gonna experience.

[00:20:44] Cause you’re going to have up level your, uh, your income and your life experience over those change. In that it’s really the things like when I think about my life, I’ve got two or three moments, two or three setbacks. Um, uh, that, that came to me in my early [00:21:00] twenties that I, uh, one being a business failure and one being, um, uh, something that happened while I was in, was in college, a setback that happened in college that, that I really feel like defined me.

[00:21:11] And, um, I would not give those moments away for, for anything. And I think it’s easy to want to take people’s struggle away from them. Um, because we just naturally don’t want people to, to suffer or have, have setback, but it’s really those, those moments that create clarity for you. And so I’m just sitting here thinking about my kids.

[00:21:32] It’s like, man, my kids have it so much better than I had it. And, um, you know, it’s like, how do you, as a parent, I’m like, how do you transfer that? How do you, how do you put them in situations where they’re able to have some hard knocks because you know, they’re not gonna, they just, aren’t going to have the same experiences that I had.

[00:21:50] Stephanie: [00:21:50] Sounds like you’re in, you’re in my household, my husband and I were particularly talking about this. We’ve got a four year old and one on the way. So we’re very philosophical right now, parenting [00:22:00] philosophies. And how do we make sure that, you know, while he may be more fortunate than we are, and we had great upbringings, but you know, it’s just a different, different time, different set of circumstances.

[00:22:10] Um, you know, how do you make sure that they’re exposed? To all and that they still have the same respect, that same hustle, that same drive. I think it all centers back to awareness though. Right? Um, you can’t change your circumstances for worse, right? Nor should you want to, but. If you can be aware of and, and be grateful, um, those things can go a long way.

[00:22:38] So that’s how we’re tackling it. And that’s why awareness is at the center of everything I do at no. And flourish. The know component is building awareness on strengths, on how some of those tougher moments have defined you and maybe give you an edge. Um, and then what is the strategic plan to, to flourish in whatever you’re trying to accomplish 

[00:22:56] Brad: [00:22:56] Your husband has to ask you, why are you making all the kids carry rocks in [00:23:00] their backpack?

[00:23:06] so I guess the only other question I have for you, I know that we had talked a little bit about kind of in the note section, as we were preparing for this as imposter syndrome. And I know that’s something that you like to talk and think about as a potential sale. So I’d love to hear your thoughts on that.

[00:23:21] Stephanie: [00:23:21] Sure. Well, you know, for those who may have heard the term, but don’t know what it is. Imposter syndrome is a debilitating belief that you do not deserve your success. So like in its simplest form started in the seventies where a lot of women were new to the workforce and they were attributing their success to luck as opposed to talent.

[00:23:40] And so it was two psychologists set out to figure out what is going on here. Um, what I’ve observed in recent years is that imposter syndrome impacts all of us. In fact, I was just watching a Trevor Noah interview with a musician that I love, uh, this guy, Michael Q a Nuka out of London. And he, they talked about imposter syndrome.

[00:24:00] [00:23:59] He didn’t want to record something with Kanye West or, you know, but the point is, the term is now used more in a mainstream way. Um, and even male leaders who are. You know, chief marketing officers in some of my communities are saying, Hey, anybody else feel like this? I feel I’m really facing imposter syndrome right now.

[00:24:18] So I love that it’s being more discussed. I think that’s part of that vulnerability trends we’ve talked about, or we see going on in leadership, um, and really. I think the way to tackle it is to be aware of it, to say, Hey, at times I’m going to be putting myself out of my comfort zone. Uh, but let me think about the five other times where I put myself out of my comfort zone, didn’t know the exact play, but knew how to do XYZ and got over the hump and, and trust in that ability.

[00:24:49] Um, and then also to be honest, when it’s like, Hey, I need help here. Right. As a seller again, it’s like, Uh, you don’t have to have all the answers, um, [00:25:00] especially in your peer group. Right? So I’m not sure how to do this pivot table. Okay, fine. We didn’t hire you to do pivot tables. We hired you to sell. So ask for help.

[00:25:09] Brad: [00:25:09] Well, there’s definitely a lot, you know, um, there’s a, there’s a lot of groups that exist. I think for marketers today that hadn’t existed. Like, I think you’re a member of one of them, like the Revenue Collective group. Which is a great, is a great group for sales leaders and marketers to get around a group of peers.

[00:25:26] Um, I know, uh, we’re um, Kiel’s a member of Revenue Collective, and I know that it’s significantly impacted him personally, as being able to, Hey, Kiel, we’ll try to do this. And he’s like, well, I don’t want to do it. Let me, let me hop on Revenue Collective and be able to get that information. So it’s definitely nice to see.

[00:25:44] Groups like that. I think there’s sales enablement society, and there’s some other ones that have, that have hopped out there, but great resources 

[00:25:51] Stephanie: [00:25:51] it’s final because it’s, it can get lonely at the top. And again, nobody’s an encyclopedia. So revenue collective, I think, is a shining example of where. [00:26:00] You know, all ships can rise if you, if you have a true sense of community and stewardship.

[00:26:06] Brad: [00:26:06] Yeah. Couldn’t agree. Couldn’t agree. More. So I got one, I got one final question for you. What’s the, and you may have covered this in some of the things that you’ve talked about, but what’s the one thing that you are the most passionate about, right? 

[00:26:17] Stephanie: [00:26:17] Ooh, that’s a toughie. Um, I’m passionate about a lot of things, but I, like I said, I’m expecting baby too.

[00:26:24] I’m in a reflective state. Um, I think. It’s about being authentic. I think that is the difference maker right now. And like I said, there was a leader who shared with her team. Hey, I’m hitting a wall here that this has been a tough quarter or whatever’s going on, like being authentic, being vulnerable. If more people can do that, that the world’s going to keep spinning in a better way.

[00:26:49] So I would. Um, I’m going to keep, keep on that trend. 

[00:26:54] Brad: [00:26:54] Awesome. Well, I had a phenomenal time phenomenal conversation with you, Stephanie. I really [00:27:00] appreciate it. And then I think you have a free consultation for listeners of this podcast, correct? Correct. You and tell us a little bit about the guide. 

[00:27:07] Stephanie: [00:27:07] Sure. So I put together, uh, had to level up your leadership skills and you can download a free guide at knowandflourish.com/giveaway.

[00:27:17] Um, I will not spam you. You’re not signing up for anything. It’s just, you know, grab this. It’s sort of like the ABCs of leadership fundamentals, no matter where you are, and I’m not somebody who believes that you have to be managing people in order to be a leader in your organization. So I encourage folks of all levels who identify as a leader, maybe why the team or we’re coach or something like that in your high school or college years to also download it and learn it.

[00:27:43] I hope it inspires you.

[00:27:49] Brad: [00:27:49] Okay. What a great conversation with Stephanie. Um, I know one of the things that we highlighted personal to me, um, she leaned into it too and talked a little bit about it, which was, you know, some of the [00:28:00] hardest things that you go through are really difficult at the time. But when you look back in hindsight are really these defining moments, um, and how important it is to struggle and grasp.

[00:28:13] Those moments in how, um, you know, just how to kind of identify those situations and that those are events are happening and be able to be reflective on them as they, as they occur. Um, again, super excited to have Stephanie phenomenal insights, and I hope you guys enjoy it. And remember as always don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can.