Preparing for Hinge Moments with Sports Psychologist Rob Bell

About This Episode

Dr. Rob Bell is a mental toughness coach who works with corporate and professional athletes, and he is also the author of one of the single best books on the topic of mental toughness. It’s called “The Hinge.” It’s about how life events connect us to who we are going to become – and how to deal, handle, and cope with adversity and success.

Whether you are an athlete or a salesperson, we are all striving to attain success in one way or another. On the first episode of the Decision Point podcast, we talked with Rob about “The Hinge” and how he sees these concepts in action with the people he works with. Is the kind of mental toughness that leads to success something you’re just born with or is it something you earn through experience? Listen in to find out.

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Decision Point Episode #1: Preparing for Hinge Moments with Rob Bell

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Rob: [00:00:00] I think when it comes to success, how we look at it, I think we got to look at significance. And the way I look at significance is who are we helping along this journey? Welcome to decision point, a podcast on mental toughness and overcoming adversity and sales. I’m Brad Seaman.

[00:00:20] Brad: [00:00:20] Welcome to the first episode of Decision Point. When we were fleshing out the idea of the show, one of the first people that came to mind was a guy named Rob bell. He’s a mental toughness coach who works with corporate and professional athletes, and he’s also an author of the single best book that I’ve read on the topic of mental toughness.

[00:00:36] It’s called The Hinge. The thing about The Hinge is that it could easily be misunderstood. Because if you don’t read it carefully and you don’t have the proper definition of mental toughness, this book can feel a lot like a giant list of historical serendipitous events, but with the right definition and understanding of mental toughness, this book will read like the Holy grail of mental toughness literature.

[00:00:58] It’s about how life events [00:01:00] connect us to who we’re going to become and how to deal, handle and cope with adversity and with success. Rob starts out the book with a story about one of the only players to be inducted into the Naismith hall of fame as a player and as a coach, the individual named best coach of the century, none other than John wooden.

[00:01:19] I believe coach Wooden may have been one of the most mentally tough people to ever live. He defined success as peace of mind. That is a direct result of self-satisfaction and knowing that you did the best to become the best that you’re capable of becoming. Now, whether you’re an athlete or a salesperson, I think we’re all striving to attain success in some way or another.

[00:01:41] I wanted to talk to Rob about The Hinge and how he sees these concepts in action with the people he works with. Is the kind of mental toughness that leads to success something that you’re born with, or is it something that you earn through experience? Let’s find out. . All right. I’m excited today [00:02:00] to have Rob Bell sports psychologist.

[00:02:03] Six time author with the seventh book on the way, has worked with multiple PGA tour winners. Uh, along with the university of Notre Dame, indie 11, and is spoken to crowds at NFL, the Marriott, and Walgreens. So, Rob, excited to have you on today. Thanks Brad. Appreciate it, man, buddy. Well, let’s do it. So, um, as mentioned, you’ve written several books on mental toughness, but I want to focus on one book that you wrote specifically, and that’s called the hinge.

[00:02:36] So what’s, um, let’s go ahead and start, I’m gonna ask you three questions. And then we’ll get into the book. So the first one is, um, I laid out John Wooden’s definition of success, but how would you define success for yourself? And I think particularly for your athletes, I mean, in terms of success. I think we always look at success in terms of outward appearances and where that’s going to be.

[00:02:59] Rob: [00:02:59] Um, you know, how we [00:03:00] look, what we drive, uh, you know, money and stuff like that. But I mean, I, I think when it comes to success, how we look at it, I think we gotta look at significance. And the way I look at significance is who are we helping along this journey? So I think in terms of like the legacy that we leave, who, you know, do we help other people along their journey in life?

[00:03:22] You know, I know a lot of. A lot of athletes that are just not great people. And like always says, being a great athlete does not make you a great person, but being a great person makes you a better athlete. And in terms of like success, that that’s the way I look at it in terms of war, in terms of significance and who we, who we impacted along this journey and who we help and with reach their goals.

[00:03:44] Cause I’m a big firm believer that if we help enough people reach their goals, then we’re going to reach ours.

[00:03:50] Brad: [00:03:50] Awesome. Now, how would you define, um, mental toughness? And then I think, you know, kind of the second question to that is, how do you think mental toughness ties into success?

[00:04:00] [00:04:00] Rob: [00:04:00] Yeah, absolutely. So there’s, there’s one that’s a little bit better at, in terms of defining, I mean, mental toughness.

[00:04:05] Again, I’m a, I’m a jeans and tee shirt kind of guy, Brad. I mean, I shoot a really straight as we can, mental toughness. All it is, it’s how we deal, handle and cope with the adversity. And the setbacks in life. That’s all it is. So I’ve got my own podcast, 15 minutes of mental toughness, as you know, and I’ll ask everybody to define it and adversity, every definition is different, but adversity is the one common theme that’s going to be in there.

[00:04:30] And that’s all it is, man. It’s how we deal and handle and cope with that stuff. It’s not a matter of if, it’s just a matter of when we’re going to face that. How it ties into success, man. And I mean, even research shows, man. I mean, it’s the deciding factor of those are going to be successful in those that are the fact that everyone is going to make mistakes.

[00:04:50] Everyone’s going to have setbacks. Uh, everyone’s going to choke. It’s how we respond to that and how we can. Deal handle and cope with it, and [00:05:00] frankly, how fast we can do it as well. I mean, that’s going to be the important piece to it and that’s why, look, mental toughness is very, very simple. It’s just not easy to do.

[00:05:08] And that’s why I like strategies that we implement and how we, how we focus on our daily life and the actions that we take become so important.

[00:05:16] Brad: [00:05:16] That’s awesome. I mean, ultimately that’s really, you know, one of the things that w the stories that were sort of going around in my head, um, as we started the, you know, as we’re thinking about putting this podcast on, obviously the audience here is sales, but I think the things that make you a good salesperson are ultimately the same things that make you.

[00:05:37] You know, a good athlete and you really nailed it around adversity. Um, there’s a quote that I really liked by Barbara Corcoran, who’s on the shark tank, a real estate investor out realtor. Um, and she, she says, the best way to tell a good sales person from a great salesperson is how quickly they get over a big [00:06:00] sale.

[00:06:01] Do they when there’s a big sale that they thought they were going to get and they don’t get, how quickly do they move? She said, the people who are the best salespeople, not that it doesn’t hurt when the, when they don’t get a deal, but they have the ability to, the ability to quickly move forward to the next deal as if it never happened. as we get into the hinge, which is really what I want to sort of focus in on. Um, can you summarize the book for me?

[00:06:26] Rob: [00:06:26] Absolutely. Yeah. You know, I kind of say it like this. It’s like, you know, every door has a hinge, a door without a hand. As a law. It just doesn’t work. You know? So in our lives, if we ever hear about doors opening and closing and life, that’s because of the hinge.

[00:06:43] If you ever hear of like a rusty door, it’s not the door that’s rusty at all. It’s the hands. It gets rusty. So it’s small hinges that open big doors. And when it comes to our life, it’s the hand is going to be that one person, that one moment or one [00:07:00] decision that makes all the difference in our lives. See, it connects who we are was who we’re going to become, but we just don’t know when that’s come.

[00:07:07] Like you know, we can’t connect the dots in life looking for, we don’t know how this mystery is going to work out. We can only look backwards and seeing. Connect the dots on that one coach that made a difference in her life, but that one decision made and what an impact it made in her life. You know, there, uh, the part that I really find to be most important is no matter how bad your situation is, no matter how bleak and outcome looks.

[00:07:32] It only takes one. It only takes one one sale to turn everything around. One person that we’re going to meet to turn everything around. Sometimes one decision, you know? And it’s not immediate. Sometimes we don’t know till weeks, months, years later, the impact that that one decision or one person had in our life.

[00:07:49] But that’s the beauty about it. No matter how bad a situation that we’re in, it only. Takes one. And then the other part that we know is that the immediate hinges that happen in our life, like tragedies, become immediate hinges. So [00:08:00] death of a loved one. No pandemics, uh, severe injuries, illness, you know, these tragedies that happen in our life are immediate, because from that moment on, everything is different. Everything is changed.

[00:08:13] Brad: [00:08:13] Now, Rob, do you think that there is a direct correlation between your ability to ascribe meaning to a situation in your ability to find success?

[00:08:23] Rob: [00:08:23] You know, it’s tough. I think it’s really tough to find the significance of the moment in the actual moment. You know, only time and perspective can, can allow us to kind of look at that and see the  of it.

[00:08:35] Um, so. Like when I’m coaching people up on these hinge moments, like we’re not going to know the hinges there. You know, this might be a hinge moment. We might not know. So I think it’s, it’s just our attitude and outlook and approaching every single person, like it’s the most important person that we meet and approaching every call that we take is the most important call.

[00:08:53] And that way we’re not, we’re not putting any more emphasis on one than another. And then it’s really preparing us for this [00:09:00] moment that. Uh, when we need it the most, it’s going to be there because the one thing that’s important, especially when it comes to mental toughness, is, you know, when our moment hits, it’s too late to prepare. We’ve gotta be ready.

[00:09:10] Brad: [00:09:10] A hundred percent. And that’s a famous, famous John wooden quote. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. You know, he talked a lot about, um, you know, being ready when, when the time comes. So I think he had a good understanding of. Of hinge moments. He doesn’t articulate it the same way.

[00:09:30] He articulates it through, uh, you know, through the maxims that he would put out. But I think that is a, you know, I think John wouldn’t, as an individual that really understood, um, the meaning of being prepared and being ready. Now, do you think, you know, you talk, so you talk in the book, you know, one of the maxims that you lay out in the book was it only takes one, and you highlighted that there.

[00:09:52] You know, I know for us, we talk about that a lot in term eternally, you know, Hey, it just takes one deal. One deal changes everything. We talk a [00:10:00] lot about momentum as a company. How important do you think momentum is to an athlete or to a business? And do you think momentum’s, or is that a real thing?

[00:10:09] Rob: [00:10:09] That’s a great question, Brad. So I think momentum, it absolutely is real. Um, but what I think is more important is execution. You know, I think momentum, you know, if you’re listening to kind of sports broadcast, I think it’s one of those things that just gets overused too often because it’s easy to describe something as well.

[00:10:24] You know, they’re hot. Um. Oh, it is. It’s the state of mind in terms of what we’re going to be doing. So I think what execution and our preparation becomes a whole lot more than momentum that we’ve got in life. So momentum, I mean, same thing, if we’re riding a bike, we don’t need to keep pedaling all the time.

[00:10:40] We just got to keep that consistent pedal on what we’re doing. And I think consistency becomes. You know, the toughest thing that we can do in terms of our life is having consistent results. What we can control then is getting back to our consistent preparation and then the attitude and behaviors that we do on a weekly and day to day basis.

[00:11:00] [00:11:00] Brad: [00:11:00] Right? And you probably see that a lot with athletes. The things that get you there aren’t always the same things that keep you there. And we see, you know, we see athletes or business, uh, businesses. Get to a spot where they’re hot or, you know, they feel like they’ve arrived and they quickly fall off the, you know, whether it’s the inc 500 list or the, you know, top Hunter, you know, top of the conference or, you know, highest ranked, um, team. You know, being able to keep yourself there consistently is really a skill.

[00:11:32] Rob: [00:11:32] You know, that’s why I think in what you said at the very beginning is important, man. It’s like how, especially that, that Barbara quote. But, um. And it’s how we deal with success too. Once, once we start to get success, does that still keep us hungry and still keep us wanting more?

[00:11:48] Um, I mean that’s why what only 30% that were only original inc 500 or inc 100 or are still on that list because. You know, with the mental toughness would have requires that we do, is to be [00:12:00] able to find a way and to be able to adapt and champions adjustment, no matter how things are going. It’s how we adjust that stuff and do we get back to our process and the stuff we can’t control.

[00:12:10] Brad: [00:12:10] And I think that’s a bit, you know, that’s a big piece of your writing. And I think a big piece of success in anything is controlling the things that you can control. Cause you can’t, you know? And I think that’s why culture is so important in a business because. Um, you can’t control, I mean, there’s really very little in a business that you can control outside of who you hire.

[00:12:30] You can, you can control who you hire and what clients you bring on. But outside of that, you can’t control the pain of dynamics. You can’t control outside market forces. You can’t control what your competitors are going to do. Uh, really all you can control is what’s in your purview.

[00:12:49] Rob: [00:12:49] I always love that. If you ever hear it is what it is, right? Like no one ever says, Hey, it is what it is. When they make a million dollar sale, you know, you never hear it. I say that, [00:13:00] Hey, it is what it is. Say it is what it is. When something bad happens. Well, look, I think we’ve got to focus so much on our process and that’s what one of my goals is for one of my champions, one time bill to hold up that trophy and they asked him, Hey, tell us about it.

[00:13:16] And they reply with, Hey, it is what it is now. No one’s ever going to say it because me kind of look like a jerk. If you do say it. But the, but it’s true. If we got to focus so much on our process and what we do and our culture and how we interact and relate to people, that success does take care of itself.

[00:13:33] Brad: [00:13:33] So, um, the second Maxim that you laid out in the book is things happen for a reason. So can you, can you unpack that a little bit? Yeah, so I mean, a lot of people are going to hear that and say, well, I don’t believe in it, and that’s fine. Um, what’s important when it comes to that is what are, what are our beliefs?

[00:13:52] Rob: [00:13:52] You know, what our beliefs when it comes to, if we believe that things happen for a reason, then our actions confirm our beliefs. [00:14:00] If we don’t believe it, if we just believe, Hey, life happens and then you die, then our actions are going to confirm that belief as well. So what’s so important is like, look, if I think that the stock market is great.

[00:14:11] Then I’m going to find proof that shows that the stock market’s great. I believe that the stock market is bad. I’m going to find proof to show that stock market’s bad. That’s why it just comes back to that belief in ourselves and what do we believe that to be true? And that’s why the beliefs are what are what really indicate then our actions and behaviors.

[00:14:33] Brad: [00:14:33] Yeah. It’s like the story of, uh, you know, uh, couples driving their car to a new, uh, looking at a new town and they drive into the town and they, they roll the window down at the gas station and they asked the gas station attendant, you know, Hey, what are, uh, what’s everybody like here in this, uh, in this town?

[00:14:48] And he’s like, probably like everybody is at your old town, you know, that you have, you have a tendency, you know, if you see the good in people, you’re going to find the good people viewpoint. How he [00:15:00] looked at it. Um, awesome. So you talk a little bit about fate. Fate favors the prepared. So talk, talk, talk to me a little bit more about, talk to me a little bit about that.

[00:15:12] Rob: [00:15:12] So, I mean, if you look at, again, I mean, I always say everybody’s an athlete or office, just different. So working with professional athletes and executives and corporate athletes, it’s, it’s, it all gets back to our preparation and how we look at things. You know, when our moment hits is too late to prepare.

[00:15:28] And one of the quotes I always love from, from Peyton Manning was he said, look, pressure. It’s something you feel. We don’t know what the hell you’re doing. You know, we’ve gotta be ready for those big ones when they come because it’s only then can we actually treat them like we have every other process.

[00:15:46] And that’s the part where it’s always getting back to our preparation. How we prepare.

[00:15:51] Brad: [00:15:51] Alright. Awesome. Um, okay, so the third Maxim that you laid out in the book is trust your gut. The one thing that I, as I was reading [00:16:00] that, that I thought was fascinating is this, Rob, how do you tell the difference between fear and trusting your gut?

[00:16:09] Rob: [00:16:09] It’s a good question, man. You know, I think fear, I think we can feel it. I think fear, a lot of times it’s telling us to look at the result of things. It’s telling us to look at the outcome, but it’s always telling us to look in the future. What fear doesn’t do is it doesn’t look right here in the moment, and even though Rook everyone, right, everyone fused, it’s always happened to happen to everybody.

[00:16:33] And. It’s just how we respond to that stuff. Like, look, we’re going to make bad decisions. But did we trust our gut when it came to that bad decision? Or did we go against it because we were focused on the outcome? So I mean, I think when it comes to fear and confidence, it’s, it’s a feeling when we add a man.

[00:16:49] And that’s, that’s the big part about being able to trust our gut is what is the voice that, that we’re listening to. And a lot of times. I think there’s a peace of mind [00:17:00] knowing that this is the right thing to do. And then I think there’s peace of mind not knowing. And the reason why it comes from not knowing is because we don’t know how the outcome’s going to happen, but I always just terms of how we’re feeling about it.

[00:17:12] Brad: [00:17:12] Yeah. I had a business deal one time that, um, everything on the surface looked really good. There was no reason for me to have any, um, qualms about the, about the deal. And all of a sudden I started getting on on Sunday. I don’t know. I mean, maybe it was the pizza that I, um, but I started just having all this anxiety about it, and it was a deal that I really needed.

[00:17:34] It was a, it was important time in my, uh, in my life. Um, it was kind of a bridge between my first company and the company that I have today. And, um, I got to the spot where, you know, I went to my wife and I said, Hey, I just, I just feel like I’m. You know, I’m not supposed to do this. And, um, she basically was, you know, said, Hey, you gotta trust your gut on this.

[00:17:55] So call the guy said, Hey, I’m not going to do the deal. He was, you know, he was put back. Um, [00:18:00] and I find out maybe a year later, all the guys in the deal got in a bunch of hot water. Um, and I’d have been right in the middle of it. And so it was one of those trust your gut moments that I look back and I’m, I’m so glad.

[00:18:12] And I felt great right when I made the decision. I mean, she sort of broke it down with not trust your gut. She said, Hey, if you feel like God’s telling you to do this and you, you’re either going to believe in God or not, you’re going to trust them or you’re not. And I decided to do it. I had a lot of peace about it.

[00:18:26] And 12 months later, you know, I’m listening to the radio and I hear, um. You know, I don’t know that these guys did anything bad, but I definitely would have been right. Right smack down in the middle of a, uh, something controversial.

[00:18:40] Rob: [00:18:40] Absolutely, man. You know, they call those the nods from God and it’s, it’s better than a nudge from the judge.

[00:18:47] Brad: [00:18:47] All right. Well, awesome. Well, um, let me go, let me ask you a couple more questions about the, uh, about the hinge. So what was one of the aha moments that you had when you wrote the book?

[00:19:00] [00:19:00] Rob: [00:19:00] You know, the difficult part is like being a thought leader. And I don’t know if that’s what I am or what, I mean, I’m just a coach.

[00:19:06] It just tries to get after it and help people get to where they want to go. But it’s difficult to come up with new ideas. And it was only after speaking with somebody that he just kind of threw it out there in terms of like, you know, he said, well was at the hinge personal life. So what? Like what do you mean.

[00:19:22] So that was just somebody to kind of connect me to somebody else. And when you said that, bam, it went off, man. I was like, that’s exactly it. And if you look in any door, right, the only door that doesn’t have one is a sliding door. I don’t know how I get past that. Every other door has that hinge, man. And, and uh, I think that was just the fact that it only takes one no matter what.

[00:19:42] We’re always getting back to that. And that’s the piece that matters, man. Is never losing that belief and that faith in ourselves that’s going to work out. I mean, that’s the part where if it’s bottom line, look, we have to believe that all works out in the end. If it hasn’t, it’s just not the end. A lot of [00:20:00] times, if we’re listening to this, certainly not the end, but it’s getting back to Manhattan.

[00:20:03] Can we keep moving forward? And pivot and when we need to just make an adjustments now, but that the hand is just overall concept. Love is probably the first original one I ever had.

[00:20:12] Brad: [00:20:12] Alright, and then how would you, you know, if, if somebody’s starting to work through being mentally tough, where do you start? If you say to yourself, Hey, I know I, I know that I need to have a change, or I need to think differently. W where do you, where do you begin?

[00:20:29] Rob: [00:20:29] Well, there is absolutely so many different ways where you can begin, right? Simon Sinek says, you gotta start with why I believe on that. A lot of times what we need to do is we need to start with one of those small habits that we want to develop.

[00:20:42] So early in the morning, um, or if it’s going to be reading a book or exercise and, but we’ve got developed that habit is what’s going to be important. And habits and take over our decision making process. We don’t have to think about that stuff anymore cause it is a habit. So I don’t care what it is. I [00:21:00] think we need to start with one thing, one thing, and develop a habit around that. That’s how you start to develop that mental toughness muscle.

[00:21:07] Brad: [00:21:07] That’s awesome. That’s good. Good takeaway. A good first good. First step. Now, how would you, how important do you think friendship is to adversity or the mental toughness?

[00:21:18] Rob: [00:21:18] No, it’s huge, man. I mean, that was, no, not wrote. No one gets there alone. It was all focused on look the way I think that we reach our goals to help other people reach.

[00:21:28] There’s deeper than that part. It’s like, you know, the way we get outside of our own ed is to focus on other people and if we can focus on other people and help him, help him them. Then that’s the way we get outside of our own head. But he even goes deeper than that. It’s like, you know, the relationships that we had.

[00:21:46] Not only is that the thing that matters the most, brilliant, it’s how we help ourselves as well. So it’s like we cannot help out others without also helping out ourselves. And that’s the message that I never got growing up, [00:22:00] but it became the most important thing in terms of. That’s why we need to focus on other people cause it helps herself, helps us out at the same time.

[00:22:07] Authorize, said it, man. The most selfish thing you can do is to help somebody else out.

[00:22:12] Brad: [00:22:12] And how’d you get there? What was your kind of background on, you mentioned you didn’t have that when you were younger. Um, what was the process of coming up with that realization?

[00:22:21] Rob: [00:22:21] Well, that was a hinge moment that happened in a, in one of the half iron mans and others.

[00:22:26] So half iron man with a 1.2 mile swim, 57 56 mile bike and then 1321 mile run. And the issue with that is I had not been trained for that type of race at all, and I just decided to do it. I looked Brett, I didn’t even own a bike. I had to borrow somebody’s bike in order to do this race. And so I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

[00:22:45] Um, but the one thing I am good at has never given up. So I asked myself, look, if I just keep moving left finish, and I don’t recommend doing any training, but the guy’s bike, who I borrowed, I’m at mile 30 on the bike. I’m Chris Hill. [00:23:00] Only Hill, I think in Indiana, and my back tire goes flat. And as I get up to the top of this Hill with a flat tire, I got nothing to change.

[00:23:09] It wouldn’t know how to change it if I could. Man and races are Crested the Hill and they’re taken off. And then a guy stops and pulls over and asked me if I have anything. I said, I don’t have anything. And he takes his air cartridge and a tube and it’s also to me, and he kind of takes off wave to him a Disney moment, like, I’m never going to forget you.

[00:23:27] And then another guy pulls over and asked me if I know what I’m doing. And I said, I have no idea. So the guy gets off his bike, walks over to me and says, well, let’s get you fixed. So this other racer stops his own race to help me write an idiot. You know, a moron. Somebody’s not prepared to handle the situation.

[00:23:45] I finished the race, but the only question I asked myself at the end of that race is, would you have stopped? And the answer for that point was, no. I wouldn’t have stopped. I wouldn’t even thought about stopping. But once he stopped, that became a hinge moment. Because from that moment on, everything is different.

[00:23:59] And [00:24:00] now I start looking for the opportunities of when. I can focus on helping somebody else out. And the reason why I say I look forward is because it’s by design. It’s not by default. You know, our default mode is protect yourself at all times. And how does this affect me? But it’s only when we can focus on helping somebody else out.

[00:24:16] Does. Does that mental standpoint and our mentality then change never comes all for the better.

[00:24:23] Brad: [00:24:23] All right, well let’s get into the, uh, we’re, we’re coming to the end here and, uh, let’s do what I refer to as the power play. So I’m going to give you three quick questions and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to mind and then we’ll move on to the next question and we’ll be done. So, uh, first question, toughest decision you ever had to make.

[00:24:42] Rob: [00:24:42] Boy, there’s probably a lot of them. These are going to be one of the things that I know I’m going to probably. Regretted afterwards. I know I’d say this toughest decision I’ve had to make was, um, when I was a professor, you know, run a sports psychology program.

[00:24:56] You know, I got two kids under the age of five [00:25:00] and I was no longer happy and I wasn’t filling out my passion. And the tough decision I, as I said, was, uh, to go in my bosses office and say, look, I’m done. And I’m starting my own company. Um, so that was 2011 and that’s what made all the difference. That was the toughest decision.

[00:25:15] Brad: [00:25:15] Alright, next question. Biggest regret.

[00:25:17] Rob: [00:25:17] You know, it’s tough to answer these because, you know, our regrets make us into who we are today. Um. So, I mean, you know, when I got to college, I was a party to a whole lot and it caused me to no longer be able to play baseball. And I think the number one regret was just to be, you know, if I, if I just would have been able to stay straight or during that time and not focused on so much on having a good time, um, that would probably be the biggest regret cause that caused the most pain.

[00:25:54] Brad: [00:25:54] Alright. Number three, born mentally tough or made mentally tough.

[00:25:58] Rob: [00:25:58] No question made mentally tough [00:26:00] man. Anybody says you’re born mentally tough, just doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Now what the referred to is, look, we can have experiences that help shape us into who we’re going to be going.

[00:26:09] Becoming, you know, why is it that people, everybody who’s been really successful, some that some point, they were told you can’t do it. You’re not good enough, or their circumstance, show them that they weren’t good enough, they weren’t going to be successful. Why is it that a third of all millionaires are, you know, have dyslexia?

[00:26:26] You know, because that adversity helps shape them into who they’re going to become. So it’s all about our experiences or the people in our lives that help us become an who we’re going to become.

[00:26:36] Brad: [00:26:36] All right. Tell me, tell me about Puke and Rally.

[00:26:38] Rob: [00:26:38] So, I mean, the fact of the matter is, that’s going to be my seventh book, man.

[00:26:41] It’s just that, look, we’ve all puked. And what it takes is that we just need to overcome that one mistake that we, that we make and then we can rally. But it’s too often that one mistake is what derails us. It takes us away from our goals, from our focus, and it brings back all the negativity and all the times we failed before.

[00:27:00] [00:27:00] That’s the piece of, look, if we just need to overcome that one mistake, then we’re going to be able to rally. And it’s not about the setback, it’s about the company.

[00:27:11] Brad: [00:27:11] When

[00:27:13] Rob: [00:27:13] listening

[00:27:13] Brad: [00:27:13] to Rob talk. There were three things that jumped out at me. The first one was, you never know when you’re in a hinge moment, so you need to approach every person, situation and event, good or bad, as if it was the most important. I’m reminded of a story that Steven Schwartzman founder of Blackstone tells in his book what it takes.

[00:27:32] Shortly after starting his company, an individual shows up in his office, knocks on the door. He opens it. The guy’s wearing a motorcycle jacket. He’s rough cut. He mentions that his bike is tied up on the street and wants to know if it’s safe. If Schwarzman had looked at him and shut the door, he would have missed out on a huge opportunity because this individual ends up being one of the largest real estate holders in the country and would have a large payoff for Schwartzman in the future.

[00:28:00] [00:28:00] The second thing was that it only takes one, so no matter where you’re at and your circumstances, it only takes one person, one event to change everything. Think about momentum in a football game or a basketball game. It literally only takes one play to have the whole game change, and the same thing applies to sales.

[00:28:19] It only takes one to change everything. The third one is mental toughness isn’t just for handling adversity, but it’s also for handling success. One of the things that Rob mentioned in the interview was that I think a rough stat that he used was 80% or 85% of the companies that get on the inc 500 don’t stay on there the following year.

[00:28:40] In fact, I think there’s another statistic that shows that there’s a mass number of those companies that go out of business. So I think the key takeaway here is it’s one thing to get on top. It’s a whole nother thing to stay on top, and what happens is people stop doing the things that got them there and they eventually aren’t there anymore.

[00:28:58] So that’s it for today’s [00:29:00] episode. If you like our show and you’re looking for some further reading on how to grow in mental toughness and become a better salesperson, I invite you to come download our middle toughest playbook and you can get that@monsterconnect.com slash podcast. That’s all for today.

[00:29:14] Remember to subscribe to your favorite podcast app and leave us a review on Apple podcast. Until next time, don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can.

[00:00:00] Rob: [00:00:00] I think when it comes to success, how we look at it, I think we got to look at significance. And the way I look at significance is who are we helping along this journey? Welcome to decision point, a podcast on mental toughness and overcoming adversity and sales. I’m Brad Seaman.

[00:00:20] Brad: [00:00:20] Welcome to the first episode of Decision Point. When we were fleshing out the idea of the show, one of the first people that came to mind was a guy named Rob bell. He’s a mental toughness coach who works with corporate and professional athletes, and he’s also an author of the single best book that I’ve read on the topic of mental toughness.

[00:00:36] It’s called The Hinge. The thing about The Hinge is that it could easily be misunderstood. Because if you don’t read it carefully and you don’t have the proper definition of mental toughness, this book can feel a lot like a giant list of historical serendipitous events, but with the right definition and understanding of mental toughness, this book will read like the Holy grail of mental toughness literature.

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